On Assumptions and Conditioning
As she hurried along the sidewalk, a young man’s voice called out to her from behind.
She ignored it.
“Sister” isn’t her first or last name anyway.
But she assumed it’s just another catcaller vying for her attention. So, she quickened her pace, determined to evade the unwanted advances.
The call persisted.
“Sister. Sister. Sister. Wait na.” The young man said, pleadingly.
She halted and looked back at him. His left hand was raised, waving something at her.
“He’s out of my league.”
She hissed and moved on.
Undeterred by her indifference, he recruited the help of bystanders.
“Can’t you just let her be? She no do!” One of the bystanders said, laughing.
Others combined their voices.
“Men supporting men in their usual waywardness. Ridiculous.” She thought.
It’s impossible for her to continue to ignore.
Her pace reduced as she dipped her hand into her side bag to get her phone.
It’s taking too long for Jaiye’s car to appear. She needed to call him again.
It’s then that she realised her mistake.
The young man waved her phone at her.
How do you interpret events?
We all have our stories and experiences in various areas.
It could even be just one experience.
It might even be the experiences of two or three people shared with you.
They form part of the lenses through which you view the world and the people in it. Call it conditioning, too.
You make assumptions by them.
Femi broke your heart. Then you have trust issues when dealing with any other Femi.
One person from WAZOBIA duped you, and you assume every other WAZOBIA man wanting to do business with you is inherently dishonest and evil.
Assuming intentions without knowing the reality behind them
Just as fine shoes bear the marks of rough terrain, assumptions leave indelible marks on the path of your progress.
You risk closing yourself off to valuable opportunities.
You aren’t receptive to change and new ideas.
In the long term, assumptions hinder personal growth and development.
Someone who consistently assumes that people are innately selfish and untrustworthy, based on one experience, may dismiss potential friendships or partnerships.
Someone who assumes they are not good enough for any goal or opportunity may sabotage their potential for success. They limit themselves to their comfort zone. They avoid risk. Not knowing that their assumptions put them in the riskiest position—the inability to explore and find limitless possibilities.
Over time, this pattern of making assumptions turns into a lifestyle.
Like I once told a friend, people who assume a lot are a danger to their own lives.
Questions for YOU:
What assumptions do I make, and where did they originate from? (cultural background, upbringing, personal experience, etc.)?
Do I tend to make assumptions about the future based on past experiences or present circumstances, and how does that affect my decision-making process?
How do my assumptions about myself influence my relationships with other people?
Have there been instances where my assumptions were wrong, have caused me opportunities, and/or have led to misunderstandings with others?
How do I react when my assumptions are challenged by new information or by someone’s thoughts?
STAY BAKE!
Thought provoking questions.
Something about a book I am currently reading talks about how the brain defines activities and how it retains it. It takes a whole lot of intentionality to correct those build ups either especially from upbringing and personal experiences.
But, yes, they are doable. If we conditioned ourselves, we can recondition ourselves rightly too. God help us.
Thank you for those questions. Worth going into the week with and hopefully we would be more conscious to not be a danger to ourselves going forward.
❤️
Thank you coach