My favourite teacher was her brother.
When she transferred to the secondary school I attended, she was my classmate. I don’t know how, but she turned friend.
Her house was on one of the roads that led to school. I’d stop by so we could walk to school together.
Now, I was all about being on time. But no matter what time I got to their house, she was never ready. She’s either having her hair plaited that morning or taking too long to get dressed for school.
Her world moved at a different pace. She’s beautiful and particular about her appearance.
Even when time was slipping away, she would take a meticulous stroll to avoid raising dust on her feet and shoes.
I’d sprint if I had to… Punctuality mattered to me. But my friend…
“My love, you don’t know that the dust will ruin my polished shoes.” She would sometimes say should I try to encourage her to walk briskly as we’re late.
The strange part? No matter how frustrated I got, I kept waiting for her every other day. I can’t remember ever refusing to wait or just walking to school on my own. That only changed partially when I became the assistant senior prefect, and my punctuality became a more serious business.
My friend - Stephen and some classmates, if they recall, still hold a funny memory of me screaming at the top of my voice while being beaten by Uncle Boniface on the assembly ground for lateness.
You know why!
I left home on time but chose to wait for my friend. I used the word ‘chose’ because she never forced me to wait on any day.
I could have walked away.
So, this is not a blame piece. At all!
Looking back, I wonder why I put up with it.
Was I trying to be a good friend, or did I have some self-esteem thing going on? Of course, I was a very shy teen.
I would rather walk in company than alone on the street.
I would rather keep my dissatisfaction to myself than express it.
I remember those vividly from my teenage years.
Again, I had a choice.
Surrendering my time and energy to someone whose perception of time was different from mine was never worth it.
What company do you keep?
Are you in an environment aligned with your personality, values, and goals?
Differentiation will mostly leave you spent and dissatisfied.
It’s the same for every area of your life. Do your type!
Friendship requires some level of sacrifice.
But beware of who you hold the door for. Know when to put yourself first. Who prioritises companionship over punctuality… LOL!
I know diversity adds character and fun to living.
But what company was I keeping with someone with a different perception of time management? Besides, in order of priority, I had one job at that teen age – get to school on time and face my studies.
If the company you keep doesn’t enable your priorities, you’re in the wrong WhatsApp group. E.X.I.T.
Your sense of self-worth influences your life.
Well, what does a teenager know about self-worth? So, we could say that trying to be a good friend was commendable. Right? But I knew the consequences of being late to school. Yet I hardly fought it.
The teen years are a crucial period for personal development.
Teens grapple with peer influence and societal expectations. And how they handle them will influence the kind of relationships they have with themselves and others in adulthood. I battled with self-esteem and being assertive into my twenties.
In some years’ time, we’d all be parents if you are not one already. In my case, my parents were unaware of how I’d wait at my friend’s house. All they knew was that their girl left home on time. Take that lesson for your kids.
Help a teenager around you and your kids as they grow up, understand their self-worth, and speak up when others are navigating their boundaries poorly.
Waiting around for someone who doesn’t respect your values and boundaries is a costly choice. And such a choice says a lot about the person you are.
The problem is not them. It’s you!
If the lessons are for you, run with ‘em.
Stay BAKE!
Wo, let me just exit the group. Abeg. But how do we leave the group without being guilt tripped?
Thank you for the great inisghts.