The Psychology of Receiving Correction
…the role of taking correction in personal growth and development
It felt like a slap.
My uncle had just corrected my pronunciation of a word as I read out the Bible verses I was assigned during the family’s morning devotion.
Like I usually self-jest, I said to myself, “Your uncle wey no get pass school leaving certificate dey correct you wey dey university.”
It was my second year at the University of Ibadan as an undergraduate in the Department of English. You sef reason am...🤣🤷♂️
My first reaction was not good.
Then, I felt bad for feeling bad too.
I mean, “What exactly was my emotional reaction about?”
What’s your initial reaction to correction?
I love social psychology so much. I might just pursue a degree in that field someday.
Social psychology suggests that an initial negative emotional reaction to correction is a natural tendency. Yes, being corrected is going to make you feel uncomfortable. No one likes it when their ego takes a hit.
And your emotional reaction might make you defensive.
Common defensive cues
You might want to say you do not reveal defensiveness when you’re corrected because you don’t say a word.
There are more cues.
It takes self-awareness to notice. Interestingly, those who read body language are judging you by what you don’t say. Such as:
Frowning, which is more common.
When you begin to avoid eye contact after being corrected.
Crossing arms.
Suddenly becoming silent for someone who’s previously vocal.
Tense posture or forceful body movements.
Which is your language?
Context to defensiveness
There’s a context to being defensive, so I won’t shut it out as being wrong.
If you think you are right, you might want to establish your sense of competence. In the matter of Rachael vs. Uncle Kola, I was right. My uncle only interpreted my application of phonetics to the pronunciation as an error. But. for me, it’s needless to try and school my uncle.
Defensiveness might also be a learning opportunity. By so doing, you may trigger a conversation that would help all parties acquire a better understanding.
However, reacting with defensiveness can be a result of close-mindedness. Or self-esteem issues.
If you are unable to quickly handle your natural reaction to being corrected, you are missing out on opportunities for learning and self-development.
I have never seen anyone unable to handle correction who excelled much in life. Walahi!
You will make a mistake. Life’s troubles are unending. To take corrections is to learn from them.
He who grows is he who learns.
Never let your initial reaction fester
There are practical consequences for taking or not taking corrections with grace.
Your ability to take corrections from YOURSELF will take you far. By doing this, you are encouraging increased self-reflection. Self-reflection helps you understand your strengths and weaknesses, which in turn enables personal growth and development.
Your ability to take corrections from OTHERS will build your social capital, grant you access to resources and support, and open doors to career opportunities.
Even in a peer-to-peer relationship, people don’t want to deal with someone who is unable to take corrections.
Needless defensiveness puts a strain on relationships. It’s a waste of time and other resources.
It shows a lack of adaptability, which is necessary for growth and development.
Your mistakes aren’t your self-worth
Those who don't want to be corrected try to avoid mistakes.
Those who try to avoid mistakes avoid risks. Even calculated risks.
Those who avoid risks miss out on a stepping stone to a better version of themselves.
Separate your self-worth from your mistakes.
When you do, consistency and persistence become easier. Pursuing your personal growth and development becomes enjoyable.
Stay open-minded and adaptable.
Stay BAKE!
He who grows is he who learns.
I like the angle where today’s baking was made from.
Just as you rightly mentioned, being defensive might be due to the fact that we are right but to what end is our being right if we are not open to learning and the development it brings?
And then we think we are avoiding mistakes and risks yet we are walking right into it and thinking we are smart. May we not lose on all sides just because we fail to learn from our ‘obvious’ mistakes.
This calls for self evaluation and that is exactly what I would be doing in the next few days.
Thank you for baking❤️
Can I like this a million times? I love how you explored this from the angle of psychology. Thank you for writing. It sure calls for self-evaluation.