You’ll forgive me.
I can’t remember the name of the subject of this story. Her husband’s surname starts with M. So, let’s just call her Mrs. M.
It’s a public national holiday during a festive period. Was it Easter or Ramadan or Christmas or New Year? Can’t recall too. Anyway, as it’s the norm, the potable water vendor next to our house would let us fetch water for free that morning.
It’s a rush hour. You can bet. Everyone was in a hurry to take advantage of the opportunity.
By the time I got there, Mrs. M was waiting in line like many others. However, she had carried every bucket and container she could find with her. About 10. Everyone is allowed to take advantage. When it reached her turn, she monopolised the tap with the biggest of her containers and used it to fill the others one-by-one, rushing back and forth to the house to empty them into her water reservoir.
I was annoyed. Very.
At her seeming lack of consideration for others. Actually, she’s quite resourceful in that regard.
“Did this woman think what she’s doing is okay? Or, she just didn’t care about others?” I thought to myself.
But the 16-year-old Rachael was too gentle to even voice her displeasure. Plus, she’s someone I really respected. She’s a teacher and sometimes supported me with my assignments. After school, when I was home alone, I’d go spend the rest of the day with her family.
About what must have been 15 minutes later.
“Are you the only one? Let others fetch too.” I didn’t know where that gut came from, but I blurted it, visibly shaky.
As she traced the voice to me, I could see the shock on her face. Couldn’t have been Rachael. Even I thought so.
Gentleness is a virtue. But.
Being gentle as a dove sounds great. It’s one of the examples I grasped quickly of Simile when I was introduced to Figures of Speech in Junior Secondary School.
But sometimes, being gentle puts a ceiling on you. You will think you are just gentle, but that virtue may be creating deep issues.
A gentle person can let fear fester where it shouldn’t be. They tend to shy away from expressing personal opinions or desires.
A gentle person, in a bid to maintain a pleasant facade, tends to prioritise others’ preferences over theirs.
Sometimes, it translates into an inability to set clear boundaries. Here, the outcome is overcommitment and exhaustion.
A gentle person hesitates, and this tends to affect their ability to make decisions.
Gentle people may struggle to leave their comfort zones. They have a passive attitude.
In public, they are reluctant to lend their voices or engage in meaningful conversations. They are in the room; they have something to say but are too gentle to be seen. Gentle people struggle with putting themselves out there.
Extremely gentle people are excessively polite because they want to avoid conflict. With time, they lose their authentic selves and depend on external validation.
All the above have implications for personal growth and development.
Where do you find yourself?
The assertiveness of the eagles
Gentleness is soothing. But some situations require a backbone.
Interestingly, we live in a world that rewards the bold.
Have you seen those perceived as ‘fool’ and ‘empty barrels’ with the boldness of an eagle?
They command heights that shock even the wise. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.
It’s too cheap to be gentle and have no room for assertiveness.
Your attitude determines your altitude. That attitude includes your assertiveness.
In your pursuit of personal growth and development, fortify your gentleness with some level of assertiveness.
Think on this.
Stay Bold, Authentic, Knowledgeable, and Extraordinary!
A Note on Gentility